Acceptance Is Hard
by VanFullMoonHelsing
Summary: Takes place at the beginning of the final episode in Being Human US season 2. Josh and Emily talk about Julia. Emily tries to comfort and make Josh feel better about himself and the things he's done. Will she succeed in helping her brother?


_**This is my first Being Human fanfic. I like the american version of the show and I was planning on doing this since last night. The italics are flashbacks. This takes place when Josh goes to Julia's wake. And Emily stops him. I thought of it as a tribute to Julia a day after I got some bad news. Instead of it being just a small chat between him and his sister. They talk for a little while longer about Julia and this how I thought the scene must've gone but was shortened in the show. This will be a one shot. This takes place in episode 13 of the 2nd season. Anyways enjoy!**_

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Acceptance Is Hard

A car drove along the street to park beside a tree that was near a stairway that led into a townhouse in Ithaca. Josh Levison was driving the car. He pulled it to the side, beside the side of the house. Josh stared at the wheel as he remembered what had happened to her. To Julia.

X

_Josh ran along the road with Julia behind him. He jumped over a passing car and Julia ran in front of it to catch up to him._

_"Josh!" Julia shouted._

_"No, Go Back!" he shouted to her._

_He ran into an alleyway and came up to a wired fence. He clenched it with his clawed hands and growled._

_"No!" he cried._

_He let go and started kicking it, trying to break it. He turned around when it didn't work and started to run again but turned around and keeled over in pain as Julia got in the alleyway entrance._

_"Whoa!" she exclaimed. "Josh!"_

_Josh stood back up, slowly, as hair started to grow on his face as his fangs started to get longer._

_"Josh. Look at me. Please," Julia said._

_Josh breathed hard and fast and started to turn around with a worried expression on his face. Julia stared in shock at Josh. He stood in front of her with that same worried expression on his face as she looked at his claws and then at his face. His breathing was fast from all the running he had done as well as the worry for Julia. When she saw him for who he now was she started to smile at him and his worried expression started to calm down as well as his breathing._

_"Josh..." Julia started to say but Josh screamed in pain._

_Julia screamed in horror and backed away from him as he keeled over again in pain. Julia ran onto the street and into the way of an oncoming car that drove into her. Josh stared horrified as she tumbled along the roof of the car and fell off the back onto the ground. Josh stared in horror and rushed over to her. As soon as he got there he grunted in pain. He saw some of the townspeople surround them and started to run off again. Julia's hand twitched as she watched him leave her. Again._

X

Josh got out of the car and closed the door and started to walk toward the stairway. Emily Levison, Josh's sister, came running up to him.

"Josh!" Emily cried as she hugged her big brother.

Josh took Emily's hug and then let go. She looked at him in concern.

"Let's not go in there," Emily told him.

Josh looked from Emily to the house.

"I'm ... I'm here now," Josh said. "I can't just leave. How would that look?"

"It will look ... smart, Josh," Emily told him. "The easiest person for them to hate right now is you."

Emily led Josh back to his car to have a quiet chat with him. Emily opened the passenger seat and got in. Josh did the same with the driver's side. Josh took in a deep breath. Emily looked at Josh.

"How did it happen? I ... I mean you were there," Emily asked.

Josh looked at Emily with some small tears in his eyes.

"I ... I was going to tell her why ... why I left her. I was going to tell her the truth," Josh told Emily.

Emily looked at her brother in concern. She knew he was feeling bad. But she didn't know how bad.

"Then there was an eclipse. I felt it coming. I became panicked. I ... didn't want to hurt her. So I ran away. She followed me into an alleyway. I tried to get away but she was blocking the only way out and I didn't want to see her get hurt. She wanted to see me and I let her. She had little shock but I was relieved to see that she didn't care what I looked like. But then ... a sudden wave of pain came through me and it her surprised and she ... ran onto the road of an oncoming car," Josh explained to Emily. "And she was flung over the roof and onto the ground. I wanted to help her but ... I didn't want anyone to see me. So I ran."

Emily looked at Josh with a worried expression on her face.

"Josh, don't beat yourself over this. It wasn't you that got her ... like that," Emily tried to tell him.

Josh shook his head in denial.

"It _was_ my fault. If I had just told her sooner ... she would've been ready to deal with it. It would've never happened," Josh told Emily.

"Josh, please. You didn't know about the eclipse. You didn't know it would affect you," Emily said.

Josh sighed and again shook his head. Emily swallowed silently and looked away from her brother and looked out the window.

"You know I was thinking on the drive down here?" Josh told Emily.

"Hmm," Emily said.

"For most people, going home is a safety net ... a place to hide the worst passes. And there's no hiding here for me anymore. I'm the monster they wanna keep out," Josh told Emily.

Emily looked back at Josh.

"Look ... people are in shock, they're grieving. Which is not to say that you're not..." Emily was cut off as Josh tried to reason with her about it. "No. You were right. I shouldn't have come. It was ... selfish. I thought I could redeem myself to them. I was so close to redeeming myself to her," Josh explained.

"But you did," Emily told him.

Josh scoffed.

"I saw you two together," Emily said.

"What you saw was me holding on to something that was never gonna happen," Josh told Emily.

"I can't imagine how horrible it must've been for you ... being there. But you didn't do this," Emily told Josh it wasn't his fault for what happened to Julia.

"You don't understand. This would never have happened if I wasn't how I am," Josh explained to Emily.

"Josh, you had no control over the situation. Don't let something random clog the truth," Emily told him.

Josh looked down in thought about how Julia had died. He had been talking to her ghost and he didn't even know until she had told him and he had seen her body being taken into the ambulance.

X

_He looked at her in concern and worry. Julia looked back at him. They were both sitting on the sidewalk. Josh knew that since she already knew now, that he could protect her._

_"I will protect you ... from this. I still can," Josh told her._

_"No, Josh, you can't. It's too late," Julia said to him._

_Julia's eyes looked over to the ambulance. Josh noticed and turned his head in that direction. He saw two policemen push a bed to the ambulance. Julia was lying on the bed. One of the policemen put the rest of the blanket over her head before they pushed her inside. _

_Josh stood up and stared in horror at what he had found out. Julia was dead now. He was talking to her ghost. He couldn't protect her anymore. Julia stood up beside him and Josh looked at her with teary eyes. He looked at her in the eyes with tears strolling down his cheeks._

_"I'm so ... I'm so sorry," he said trying to be strong._

_Julia nodded and a saddened expression came onto her face._

_"This was the reason ... all along ... why you left me?" she asked him with a voice that sounded like she would cry._

_Josh nodded and sniffled as he tried to stay still. His eyes red with tears that wanted to be let out._

_Julia noticed something behind Josh, she looked and Josh turned around and followed her glance. He saw what she was looking at. It was an oak-brown door standing in behind of some people and a police car and in front of Josh and Julia._

_"What is it?" Julia asked Josh._

_"It's for you," he told her._

_Julia came up to Josh and he looked at her. He looked back at the door. His eyes burning with hot tears of pain and sadness._

_"It's ok," he told her._

_Julia started to walk over to the door. She looked at the door and twisted the knob. The door opened revealing a bright white light inside. Josh looked at her as the tears started to overcome Josh's small barrier and roll back down his cheeks. Julia turned to look back at Josh._

_"I loved you enough, Josh. You just never believed it," Julia told him._

_Josh tried hard to stay strong as Julia turned back to the light and started to walk into the door. The door disappeared as soon as Julia went inside it. Josh turned around and stared at the street with tears rolling down his cheeks from their yearning from the pain he was experiencing._

X

"Random," Josh shook his head. "What I am isn't random. It was coincidence. Maybe I did something wrong to deserve this. Deserve everything that this ... thing inside of me has done," Josh told Emily.

"Josh, don't think that," Emily said.

"It is. Maybe I do deserve this for something I've done. Like Stu. The thing that killed him and attacked me maybe ... it was a way to say that I never should've taken him with me," Josh told Emily.

"Josh," Emily tried to tell him.

"No. Em, I'm sorry, but ... I..." Josh started to say as he got out of the car, but Emily grabbed his sleeve.

"Josh, what's happened isn't anyone saying that you it deserve for what _it's _done. You're you and that thing is it. Life isn't always fair, Josh, we just have to learn to accept it," Emily explained to Josh.

Josh swallowed lightly and looked over to the house. People weren't going inside anymore. They were already inside. Praying. Hoping. That Julia would be okay wherever she is. Josh looked back at Emily and nodded slightly.

"You're right, Em. I didn't deserve any of this. It was just ... life taking another toll on us," Josh said.

Emily smiled and got out of the car. She hugged Josh in a brother and sister embrace.

"Thank you, Josh," Emily said.

Josh wasn't expecting the hug. He flinched for a moment to respond and then hugged back. He knew now that everyone had this happen to them sometime in their life. He just didn't know them. It happened to everyone. Even the people who don't deserve it. It's just life.

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**_I was in a sorta sad-weird-emo mood when I wrote this. My Mum had just told me that someone in my family was in a car accident and they didn't survive. But the other people that were in the car with her did. They're in hospital. And she was in her second or first year of primary school. Yes, she was six, a few weeks until she turned seven. I think I did this for her more than a tribute to Julia and Josh. Anyways hope you enjoyed._**

**_VFMH OUT!_**

**_Note: The Van Helsing fanfic was really hard to finish. Even though it's the first chap and this was the only fanfic I was in the mood to write. I'll write another chapter for another fanfic later. Right now ... I'm taking a small break for a month or so._**


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